


Sleepless Nights

by Winters_solstice



Series: Of Mechanical and Flesh Hearts [3]
Category: Destiny (Video Game)
Genre: Bit of background story, Comfort, F/M, Kinda Fluffy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-24
Updated: 2017-05-24
Packaged: 2018-11-04 13:25:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10991844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Winters_solstice/pseuds/Winters_solstice
Summary: Lexi struggles to find sleep. When her sleep deprivation leads to people getting hurt she finally turns to Cayde.A little bit of backstory that reveals a bit about Cayde's ward.





	Sleepless Nights

Evening had turned into night, then faded into early morning. The air was still cooling from the heat of the previous day. The Tower was relatively quiet, only handfuls of Guardians wandered around, either just returning from missions or finding sleep hard to come by. Lexi was one of those who couldn't find sleep, although an honorary Guardian she'd spent the past months going out on many missions with other Guardians. With her on a team, enemies didn't stand a chance, her abilities had become more powerful and were advancing quickly, but she still needed to practice and train before she could confidently wield them. Cayde and Lexi had come to the mutual agreement that patrolling the Cosmodrome was the best idea for now and for the foreseeable future.  
  
It'd been over half a year since she'd been brought to the Tower. She'd made many friends and got along with a large number of the Guardians (mainly the hunters, she wondered whether Cayde had anything to do with that) but there were still many who looked at her with distrustful glances, their hands seeming to go to their closest weapon. Lexi wondered when she would be trusted unconditionally. Hadn't she proven herself since being thrown into the field? She'd risked her life to guard fallen Guardians, to protect them, to shield them when needed. She'd mourned over lost Guardians just like the rest of the Tower. She'd fought tirelessly against those who made her this way.  
"It'll never be enough..." Lexi muttered as she swirled the liquid in her glass.  
"Can't sleep?" A friendly voice asked. Lexi turned to see Amanda pulling out a stool to sit beside her.  
"It gets harder the more I see, that among other reasons." Lexi admitted.  
"Cayde know?"  
"Don't want to worry him. He has enough to deal with, with Tower duty and all that." Lexi waved it off.  
"You don't get enough rest, you slip up when you're out there, you or another Guardian gets hurt and you'll have no say in whether he's worried. He knows you're good out there, knowin' you slipped up will send alarm bells ringin'." Amanda spoke, worry for the sleep deprived woman evident in her voice. Lexi tipped back her drink and let out a satisfied hiss as the liquid burned down her throat and settled in her stomach. She stood and hugged the Tower's shipwright.  
"Good night Amanda."   
"Get some rest. And talk to Cayde. He gives a damn about you." Amanda shouted as Lexi walked out of the bar.  
  
Days turned to weeks and Lexi still struggled finding sleep. More than once she nearly screwed up during a mission, whether it was not noticing an enemy that had begun sneaking up on the other Guardians or controlling her abilities ineffectively. She knew she had to speak to her friend when she froze during one rough mission. Everyone came back injured that time. She'd avoided Cayde most of the day, not going anywhere near the Tower plaza or the Hall of Guardians, hoping to speak to him alone once the day had come to an end.  
  
Lexi had made her way to Cayde's quarters and knocked with a shaky hand (she couldn't tell if it shook because of nerves or because of sleep deprivation). Cayde's Ghost suddenly appeared in front of her.  
"He didn't want anyone bothering him, but I guess you're one of the exceptions." The Ghost spoke. Lexi then made her way into the room, her gaze landing on Cayde laid across his couch, a glass of green liquid in his hand, his attention focused on the screen where a film he liked was playing.  
"Hey Cayde." Lexi started. Without looking away, Cayde shuffled to give room for Lexi to lay opposite him, he tapped his foot on the space signalling her to join him. As she made her way across the room his Ghost spoke quietly to her,  
"He's disappointed."  
Lexi felt regret grip her. She gingerly sat on the couch and glanced down at her hands, she studied the fresh cuts and small stitched up wounds on the back on her hands.  
"Cayde... I..." Lexi drifted off, not being able to find the words.  
"Take your time." He stated plainly. Lexi took a moment to recollect herself, and think of what she wanted to say.  
"I'm sorry... I should've come to you."  
"Why didn't you? Come on I didn't realise I was such bad company." Cayde nudged her with his elbow, a playful tone in his voice.  
"You bad company? That'll never happen!" Lexi smiled softly.  
"Hey," Cayde looked up to his Ghost "D'ya get that? We'll play it tomorrow over the Tower P.A."  
Lexi laughed softly at the Exo's antics.  
"It's not like you to not talk to me Lex." Cayde tilted his head.   
"Does it ever get easier seeing Guardians fall in battle? Seeing their life being taken from them and waiting for their Ghost to resurrect them, watching as enemies get closer to them, unable to protect their Ghost...and then watching them come back...it looks... painful. But then there are the Guardians who aren't lucky to come back... how can you ever get over seeing a teammate, a friend just being here and then... gone the next... that loss... how do you deal with that?" Lexi admitted sadly. Cayde sat up, placed his drink down and gingerly rested his hand over hers.  
"We all have our own ways of coping. You just have to find yours, that'll take time. But no... that loss... it never really goes away. But you have people around you who you can lean on, who you can turn to, talk to."  
Lexi took a breath. Deciding that she needed to tell him the whole truth.  
"I started... remembering stuff... from... then ...mmm ...yeah. Makes sleeping kinda hard."  
  
"Ah..." Cayde drifted off. He nodded gently in understanding.  
"I still don't remember before. Just fragments of during..." She admitted.  
"Is that why you froze today? Seeing that stuff," Cayde asked, Lexi looked at him shocked. "I read the reports, there were a few hunters on the team. So yeah I know what happened."  
Lexi nodded sadly.  
"I remember the pain above everything. Some voices. But mainly the pain. I don't know if I can put it into words...it...it was like someone had shoved a million stars into my veins." Lexi wrapped her arms around her. She didn't realise she was crying until Cayde wiped away tears and pulled her close, hushing her.  
  
"Cayde I'm just so tired. I want to sleep without seeing my comrades fall. I want to sleep without remembering what the Fallen did to me. I know I said I wanted to know, to find out who I was before. But the cost is too much."  
"Do you want me to tell you who you are? You're one badass woman, the Fallen should be quaking where they stand... or float... they messed with the wrong woman. I know you're strong, and brave and-"  
Lexi cut Cayde off by hugging him tightly.  
"Thank you." She whispered.  
"It'll get easier. Talking will help." He whispered back in response.  
"I'll come straight to you. Promise." Lexi wrapped her pinky finger around Cayde's.  
"Alright. Well after all that, how about, you and I get into a little trouble. See if we can't tire you out." Cayde stood from the couch offering his hand. Lexi took it, smiling as he pulled her out of his quarters.  
  
Lexi and Cayde collapsed in laughter on the Exo's bed.  
"Zavala is going to be so pissed!" Cayde laughed.  
"You're the one who has to feel his wrath tomorrow. Technically theres no reason for me to see him any time soon!" Lexi replied, amusement filled her voice. The Exo pulled a face then shrugged. He stood and walked backwards, he pointed to himself then to Lexi as he spoke.  
"I'm going to get us something to eat. Then I'm going to treat you to the masterpiece that is my favourite movie!" Cayde spoke happily. He worried for his friend. She did mean a lot to him, she was special and not for the reasons that the rest of the Tower knew. Amanda seemed to be the only one who really understood. Soon after Cayde returned with more than enough food.  
"So much for that idea." Cayde's Ghost called as it floated over Lexi. The Exo placed down the food and wandered over to the young woman. He smiled as his optics took in the sleeping woman's form. Her knees to her chest, Cayde's sheets wrapped around her.  
  
The Exo changed into more appropriate clothing and gently lifted the woman, placing her further up the bed to rest against his pillow. He sat beside her against the headboard. He watched her. When she became tense, her breathing becoming fast and laboured, he stroked her hair and took her hand in his.  
"I'm right here kid." He whispered to her. She began to settle down and let out a small content sigh. Eventually Cayde shifted until he laid down next to her, he continued to hold her hand. Lexi woke suddenly a small yell coming from her mouth, Cayde was shocked to see her entire body shaking. She turned to see her friend's optics wide in worry and shock. The Exo sat up and pulled the woman to his chest. Lexi grasped onto Cayde and slowly calmed. She spoke to him, getting her nightmare out in the open, keeping to her promise. Cayde listened and reassured her, he made her laugh and over the passing minutes he calmed her again. The two eventually laid back down, Lexi resting her head on the Exo's chest, her hand grasping his shirt. At first he was uneasy about the intimate position of the two, but as he listened to her breathing even out and become shallow he let himself relax. Cayde stayed awake for almost an hour after she'd fallen back to sleep to be sure she'd fully settled. He knew from experience it would take time for her to deal with the things she experiences during her missions, that he'd be there for her as long as she needed him. He would help her find an outlet for her feelings to help her cope. What bothered him the most was her returning memories, the pain she was going through that he couldn't begin to understand. What the Fallen had done to her was horrific. He'd promised himself that even though he didn't understand he'd stand by her every step of the way and guide her through it all. He knew a bit about memories, about the effect they can have. In that moment he made himself another promise, that he'd stand by her side through all the sleepless nights to come.

**Author's Note:**

> Any feedback is appreciated. Thank you!


End file.
